It’s a funny and
wonderful thing, being young and being “Sister” in today’s world. Take this scenario for example.
“What do you mean,
honey? You work for the Sisters of Charity?” the receptionist asked.
She looked at me with
questioning eyes, and I could sense both of us growing impatient. I had just moved back to Cincinnati and
needed to find a new doctor’s office.
Here I was, trying to register at the nearby practice and finding it
more complicated than expected. The
confusion started when I handed the receptionist my insurance card and told her
that the policy is under the Sisters of Charity.
The first incredulous
look. “The Sisters of Charity?”
“Yes…I’m in the process
of becoming a Sister. I live right up
that hill.”
“Wait a second. Are you employed
by the Sisters of Charity? Or are
you a student at the College? What are
you telling me here?”
“Well, no, I’m definitely
not a student at the College. And I’m
not technically employed by the Sisters…” (I rolled my eyes inside. My feelings in a hashtag =
#youngsisterproblems). “I’m here because
I’m in formation to become a Sister. Like,
I am going to be a Sister of Charity.”
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| "You don't look like a Sister!" Disclaimer: Although the expression is similar, this is NOT the actual doctor's office receptionist |
“Hmm…we have lots of
Sisters that come in here, and they don’t look like you!” She squinted.
That’s when she asked again if I meant that I worked there. I agreed to let her hold onto the card and “check
on it” while I filled out the paperwork.
I thought to myself in
disbelief – Do you have a history of
young women coming in here and claiming to be nuns?! Honestly!
Of course, when she checked
it out, she discovered that I was not a Sister-impostor (nunpostor? J). This time, she smiled at me with a kind eyes
and a fascinated grin. “Glad to have you
with us, Sister!”
I winced a little bit, my
feelings shifting from aggravation to discomfort. I felt this urge to have my identity
understood and well-received, but I was so not used to hearing the title. Maybe I was confused about who I was, too.
It was just a few weeks since I went from
being Tracy to “Sister Tracy.” Andrea and I won’t make our first vows until
summer 2015, but the title change coincides with the beginning of Novitiate. In the months
leading up to the ceremony, I felt joyful anticipation for what the new prefix would represent. It seemed to express well the serious step I
was taking, and I was ready!
Once it happened, it
seemed surreal. The Sisters around the
Motherhouse enjoyed playfully addressing us with our new titles that week. It was a thrill and at the same time quite
strange. From one day to the next, this identity that I felt burgeoning
within over time was articulated quite decidedly in the reality of 6 letters. Surely an automatic transformation didn’t
accompany the momentary change that allows me to put “S.” before my name. “Sister Tracy?” I said to myself
sometimes, swishing it around in my mouth to see how it felt.
It's sort of like how that flashy red shirt looks great on the rack but feels a little different once you're staring at it in the mirror on your body. I didn’t expect all of
the questions that arose in me along with becoming “Sister.” What does the word bring with it? What implications does it have on my sense of
identity? What does it mean to adopt
such a title?
Many of our more
experienced Sisters grew up in a world where it was normal to be Sister ________.
These women are often comfortable being
known as that, and I am comfortable addressing them as that. In some cases, the title “Sister” is used
almost as if it replaced the religious woman’s first name and comes usually with respect and love: Thank
you, Sister. What do you think, Sister? I
find myself doing this in our Motherhouse nursing area (confession: especially
if I can’t actually remember her
name!)
For myself, I'm hesitant to throw it out there and uncertain when it applies. Do I change my name on Facebook (funny and honest question)? Do I write it on nametags? I'm very comfortable with it in formal settings, when everyone is "Mr." or "Ms." or whatever. I'm okay with kids calling me Sister Tracy when they are referring to other adults in the same way. But there is lots of grey area. In a ministry setting, it might establish appropriate boundaries, or it might make someone uncomfortable to share with me.
A few times I’ve been
called “Sister" in fairly casual conversations when others are called by
their first names. To me, that feels weird and like a reinforcement of old, erroneous thinking that religious are somehow different. Why I am Sister Tracy if she isn’t Mrs.
Ann? I'm also hesitant to elicit special
treatment. I hope that I would be responded to with the same esteem whether I am "Tracy" or "Sister Tracy." Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. I would never want to perpetuate ideas that keep religious on an imaginary pedestal.
Occasionally, instead of inflated
admiration, the title could create other kinds of discomfort at the outset of a conversation. People may (unnecessarily) worry about judgment
and feel that they have to act or speak differently. Or they may (unfairly) expect me to act or speak
differently.
I do see goodness in using the title at times. Especially because there are so few young
religious, I want people to know that I have chosen this and am happy! I like the shock value and
the conversations that it can spark about the religious life or faith in
general. “You’re Sister?” Yes! And there are others like me! And more on the way! Calling myself "Sister Tracy" can
help put it out there forthright and whittle away at stereotypes. Perhaps in the
future young Sisters won’t hear: Hmm…you don’t look like a Sister.
So, there are complexities attached to the word. I've only said “Sister Tracy” a few times
when it seemed appropriate, like at a vocation dinner, or at the beginning of a
formal presentation, or when another Sister in the conversation did so before
me. Many Sisters say that in most settings, they introduce themselves with their first name and then share that
they are Sisters of Charity as the conversation progresses, much like someone
might share their profession or how many kids they have. I like that. Hi. I’m me and you’re you. It
establishes an equal playing field off the bat.
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| Some of the amazing women I get to share this with: Novitiate community mates (at our super-fun Valentine Party!) |
Of course, it's not only the title that comes with connotations. The title is a symbol of the identity. At some point, when it surfaces that I'm a Sister, any number of conversations, positive or negative could ensue. So apart from the word, perhaps the most important question is: What do I believe about being Sister Tracy? Being “Sister” is a humbling, marvelous gift. When I am introduced as Sister
next to fellow Sisters who have celebrated Golden Jubilees and touched
countless lives through the years, I wonder for a minute how I could ever share
the same title. Certainly, I am not as
much “Sister” as they are, right? If that is a doubt in me, I am never made to feel that way by my fellow Sisters.
Mostly, I feel like and want to be called Tracy,
but there is a newness and a profound
acknowledgment of the commitment I am making.
My heart skips a little joyful beat when I am signing my name on something
official and remember that I get to add the “S.” It is a jubilant reminder of what I am on the way
to. I am growing into it, as would be
expected for a novice. I imagine that
those who graduate med school don’t feel like “Doctor” in a day; I imagine that
being a “Mrs.” evolves and deepens through each passing day of marriage. I’m figuring it out, just like the doctor’s
office receptionist. From time to time, there will be #youngsisterproblems, but mostly, there are #youngsistergraces.
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| Happy young Sisters! Andrea and me with Tracey and Arrianne of the Sisters of Providence |
I can say, on this last day of National Catholic Sisters Week, what a treasure it is to be linked with a word, whether uttered or not, that carries such a powerful legacy. If being “Sister” means trying to love
radically, walk with those who are suffering, confront injustices, and respond
to the needs of the times, as Sisters have done faithfully through the years,
then how I desire to be Sister Tracy! It is an honor to share this life form with so
many inspiring women.
It seems that titles in themselves are not so important in the end. At times, I might shout it from the rooftops. At times, I might say it only in my actions. When it comes down to it, I'm Tracy, y'all. It's the witness of our lives that defines us (all of us!). I am proud to be a young Sister, excited for the future of religious
life, and so grateful for God’s call that got me here.
Happy National Catholic Sisters Week!
Yes, you
(by: me -- 3/13/2014)
Sister.
Who, me?
Yes! says God. It’s who
I call you
to be.
The ones gone before
made it up as they went,
too.
I filled each woman with her Yes
Just as I breathe life
into
you.
Be who you are -
It is written on your
heart.
Little Sister, you are becoming,
and you
have more than made a start
Carrier of a wondrous history
Dreamer of a future hopeful and new
Change-agent in our world today
You are all of these:
Yes, you!
Claim your Sister-hood with Love
Live into your call
“Sister” isn’t a title
but a
Journey,
after all.
